The Mercenary and the Miko
by Maidens of the Flame
Summary: After Kagome's friends chose Kikyou over her, she started a new life. But what does she do when they want her back? AU OOC. VERY crazy story which will make you pee your pants laughing. BanXKag
1. Chapter 1

_The Concert_

"You're a regular decorated emergency

The bruises and contusions will

Remind me what you do

When you wake

You've earned your place atop the

ICU's Hall of Fame

Camera caught you causing

A commotion on the gurney again………"

"Dude, I freakin' love Panic! At the Disco!" Kagome said in her friend's ear.

"What!" was the response.

"I FREAKIN LOVE PANIC! AT THE DISCO!" she said, screaming this time.

"Okay! We'll pick some up after!"

Kagome nodded her head slowly since she had no idea what her friend had heard.

_After the concert……_

"Hahahahaha. No, I said I love Panic! At the Disco, not Let's pick up some crisco!" Kagome said laughing as she made her way to the parking lot after the concert.

"Oh, my bad. I did think it was weird that you wanted to get crisco, but if that's your fetish I was going to roll with it," she said unlocking the doors.

"So, where are we going now?" Kagome asked she slid into the passenger's seat.

"I've got to meet Rin at her house so, I can drop you off at home or you can come with."

"Thanks Kagura, but home sounds good right now," Kagome replied.

(a/n Didn't see that coming did you? Did you! Hahahhahha)

Kagura pulled to the curb and let Kagome get off. Once inside the house Kagome plopped down on her bed. She looked at her nightstand. It still had that stupid photo of her and her old friends on it. Sure, she would have rather been with Sango, Inuyasha, and Shippo but they weren't her friend anymore. Not since Kikyo came…….

She slammed the frame and photo down so hard that the glass cracked. Fuck Kikyou. No, fuck her friends for choosing Kikyou over her. Those bitches. Kagome got up and sat on her window sill. It was already dark so there weren't a lot of people out on the street. But there was a car right in front of her house. She squinted trying to make out the color. It wasn't a red one, like her mom's. This one was black. 'A black car?' Kagome thought. 'No, he can't be here.' She rushed down the stairs, and then she ran back up. 'Oh, I can't go out there looking like this!' She ran to her closet. 'Oh no, that's too dressy,' and she ran to her chest. Rummaging through her drawers she decided on a pair of black shorts and a tight little tank. She put on a black zip up sweater and some black flip flops. 'Okay, act cool,' she told herself. She ran her fingers through her hair and put it up in a loose pony. In the kitchen downstairs she shook her hands and started talking to herself. "Okay Kagome, calm down. No big deal. He just came to your house. Just parked outside. That's okay. Maybe he's too nervous to get down, ya, ya that's it. He's too nervous. It's not a big deal. You used to do this a lot. Just go outside," she said grabbing the trash. She opened the front door and started walking to the dumpster, ignoring the car all together.

"Kagome, wait!" she heard. He slammed the car door and made his way over to her.

"Naraku? What are you doing here?" Kagome asked. She turned around and kept walking to the dumpster. "Let me guess, agh," she said lifting up the lid. "You pissed someone off and now you want to come complain to me?" She turned around and placed her hands on her hips.

"Come on Kagome, you're the only one who really understands me, you know?" Naraku said.

"Ya, that's why we haven't talked in two years," Kagome gave him that look that says I-so-don't-believe-you. "Don't you have someone else to talk to? Like your girlfriend—"

"Kagura's with Rin tonight and I can't talk to my girlfriend about this."

"Or Sesshomaru—"

"Who is part of the problem," Naraku interjected.

Kagome sighed. It's not like she had anything else to do tonight. "Alright. Let's go." They walked back to his Ferrari and he held open the door for her. She rolled her eyes at him and said, "Just get in the car and start talking." They took off, leaving the neighborhood he drove to a park nearby. They got down and sat down on the swings.

Kagome smiled. "What?" Naraku asked.

She looked at him and said, "You still remember this spot." If it wasn't so dark she would have been able to see Naraku get embarrassed by her comment. "We used to come here every night together."

More awkward silence as they both reminisced.

"So, I went to with Kagura to a concert tonight, but I'm guessing you didn't know that?"

"She might have said something about it but I've been thinking about other things lately."

For a while they just swung in silence, both looking at nothing in the sky.

After a while Kagome sighed and said, "So, what'd you do?"

"I got Rin pregnant."


	2. Chapter 2: Peeping Toms, er demons

CHAPPIE 2 YA'LL! Hellooo there! This is your loverly authors! Aly and Jac! Well, technically is only Aly, cuz Jac is busy but hey, who's getting technical? So, on with the chappie!

Well, it's really surprising how Kagome's new crew (Aly: hey that rhymes!) took her in after her "friends" threw her out, all except for Miroku. Who would have thought that the stupid perv would be the only one to stick by her?

It all started about two years ago, she had been sitting on the swing all depressed, when she heard a creak right next to her.

WHOO! FLACHBACK TIME!

" _Mind if I sit down?" the boy inquired. "Nah, go ahead, Naraku, isn't it?" Kagome asked_

"_Yeah, Kagome, right?" Naraku said._

"_At your service. "_

" _So, what brings you here at this time of night? i thought everyone knew that rapists and killers came out at ten thirty."_

" _Ummm, I have a deathwish?" kagome said sheepishly "Wait………what are YOU doing here with all the whatsits coming out then?"_

" _Good point, so I heard a rumor, a nasty rumor." Naraku started. " Oh?" said Kagome, not liking where this conversation was going at all._

" _it involved you. Anyway, I heard that Dog Boy, Weirdo, and Anger Management abandoned you for Queen Skank." He stated bluntly. " Damn, news travels fast!" Kagome muttered._

"_So it's true then? Well, not like I care or anything…," Naraku said hurriedly "But if you ever need a place to sit or some one to hang out with, me and my friends are here."_

"_That's sweet. And weird. But ok, thanks, I just might take you up on that." And it went on from there._

END FLASHBACK!

Present:

Wearing only tight black boy short undies and a pink tank top, kagome was dancing around her room to "Hips Don't Lie".

" IIIIIIII'MMMMMMMM ON TONIIIIIIIIITE! THE HIPS DON'T LIE AND IM STARTING TO FEEL YOU BOY!"

She was singing at the top of her lungs into a hairbrush and dancing crazily on her bed when all of a sudden, her cell started ringing. She jumped off the bed, turned down the stereo and flipped open her Razr.

"Speak to me"

"Kags, I have something to tell you, I've wanted to say it since three minutes ago..."

"Yeah Sess?" kagome said hesitantly while thinking, what the fuck is he on, cuz he was giggling like crazy.

"Bankotsu and I wanted to say…Nice moves! Oh and Bankotsu says nice ass." Sesshomaru choked out between laughs "I DID NOT!" a voice yelled in the background.

"Uhhhh, what?" kagome asked "Your curtains are open." Sesshomaru stated.

Kagome walked to her window and looked out, to see Sesshomaru and Bankotsu waving at her from next door, in Bankotsu's room.

"OH MY FUCKING GOD! YOU TWO ARE SUCH FUCKING PERVERTS!" kagome screeched. "Hey, don't blame us, you're the one who left the curtains open, and who's dancing around in her undies." He pointed out.

"Hang on, I'm going over there…………., and NO not dressed like this, thanks very much." She added just in case they got any ideas.

_And special thanks to Kirri Kitty! Which depresses me cuz my cat was just killed by a dog. sobs_


	3. BanBan's super mix 5!

Hey there! Its Aly again! I finally found Jac! I forgot that I "accidentally" left her at the institution!

Jac: 'climbs through window'

Aly: You Bitch! I thought I left you at the crazy house!

Jac: Did you just call me a bitch? YOU"RE the one who left me all alone with Koga!

Koga: 'from outside' You can't resist me Jac! I'm sexy! 'jumps through window and hugs jac and starts petting her hair'

Oh, you're so soft. So cuddly! whoever can tell us where that is from gets a prize of some sort

Jac: No, not really….. NO NOT AGAIN!

Koga: 'drags Jac into closet'

Aly: Muahahahahahah! With her out of the picture I can have Sess all to myself!

Jaken: You'll have to go through ME first!

Aly: Bring it on bitch!

Next time on "insane conversations with two crazy authors…" Showdown for Sesshomaru!" who will win? OH! And before I forget (again) WE DON'T OWN INUYASHA OR P!atd OR ANY OTHER SONG THAT MIGHT SHOW UP! Now on with the story!

_DING! DONG!_ '_Come on, open up, I'm freezing my ass off out here!'_ Kagome thought.

" Why Kagome! What a lovely surprise!"

"Hi Mrs. Kage, nice to see you!" Kagome smiled

" Shall I yell at the boys and tell them you're here?" Mrs. Kage asked. " Sure." Kagome replied

With a wink to Kagome she yelled, " BAN-BAN! SESSHOMARU? YOU HAVE A VISITOR!"

" MOM," yelled and angry voice " I already told you, don't call me that!"

"Ban-Ban is it? And here I was thinking it was ….." kagome started with an evil smirk

" Oh hey kagome!" sad Bankotsu "Yo, Kags!" said Sesshomaru.

Once they were upstairs and out of earshot, kagome winked at Sesshomaru and said " So, ' kotsu, do I really have a nice ass?"

" umm, uh, well, Who wants pizza!" yelled Bankotsu while running downstairs. Kagome and Sesshomaru looked at each other and busted up laughing. After a few minutes of waiting it got awkward.

" So….how's Rin?" asked Kagome. Sesshomaru visibly stiffened and tensed(not that way pervs! Or maybe it was only me thinking that way?)._ Way to go, Kags, just open a big can of worms and piss off a powerful youkai while you're at it, oh wait! I just did that!_ She thought.

" Come on sessy, she's your sister, and Oni is your friend."

" That bastard is no friend of mine." He said with a menacing growl.

" oh…..Ok, well, 'Kotsu? How about a little music?" she sent a meaningful look to Bankotsu who had just come in. _he is sooo dreamy!_ Kagome thought_ I'd hit that._ Kagome had had a MAJOR crush on Bankotsu since the 5th grade.

" K, sure, hang on……" he said while messing with his stereo.

" OH MY FREAKING GOD! I LOVE THIS SONG!" kagome squealed. " Even more that 'Hips Don't Lie?'" Bankotsu teased.

" Hardy har har." Kagome snapped before she started singing.

_Well she's not, bleeding on the ballroom floor,_

_Just for the attention_

_Cause, that's just ridiculous-ly on._

_Well she sure is gonna get it,_

_Here's the setting,_

_Fashion magazines line the walls now,_

_The walls line the bullet holes_

_Have some composure, where is your posture?_

_Oh, no, no_

_You're pulling the trigger, pulling the trigger,_

_All wrong_

_Have some composure where is your posture?_

_Oh, no, no,_

_You're pulling the trigger, pulling the trigger, _

_All wrong._

_Give me envy, give me malice, give me your attention_

_Give me envy, give me malice baby give me a break!_

_When I say " Shotgun" you say "Wedding"!_

"_Shotgun" "Wedding" "Shotgun" "Wedding_"

"Hey!" yelled Kagome " I was SINGING to that!"

" We know," replied Bankotsu. " That's why I turned it off, you were giving Sess a headache."

"Don't blame this on me you bastard!" yelled an indignant Sesshomaru.

"whatever." Said Kagome as she walked toward the stereo to turn it back on when she saw something glinting under a pile of clothes. She picked out the CD and read it out loud "Bankotsu's super mix 5?" kagome said

"NOOOOOOOOO!" yelled Bankotsu in slow motion as he ran towards Kagome.

All of a sudden the Darth Vader's theme filled the room, only to be cut into by…..

_Sugar! Dadadadadada Oh, honey, honey_

_You are my candy girl!_

"What the fuck!" kagome said.

"It's my moms!" yelled Bankotsu. "Then why does it say BANKOTSU'S super mix 5?" asked Kagome

"Ummmmm……"

"Where are the other four?" asked Sesshomaru with and evil grin. "YOU'LL NEVER GET IT OUT OF ME!" yelled Bankotsu.

"I'll tell kagome your secret..." "They're under my bed." Sighed Bankotsu in defeat.

"A secret huh?" kagome said.

Well that's the end of another loverly chapter! and Oni is part of naraku's last name/nickname, Onigumo. So, make 2 hobby less girls happy and review! And sometime in a later chapter we will have a FLASHBACK (lights and music come on)

Jac: NO! Not flash DANCE! Flash BACK! Damn oompaloompas, can't do anything right.

Aly: what? They were ten bucks cheaper than the midgets!

Jac: ya but the midgets don't have to make a stupid song every ten minutes!

Oompaloompas: OOMPA LOOMPA doompadee dee! If you were wise you would…..

Jac: RRRNNNNNNNNNN!

Aly: 'sigh' fine go ahead

Jac: YAY! 'Runs with chainsaw at oompaloopas.'

Oompaloompas: we worked for Willie wonka; do you REALLY think that scares us? Doompadee dee?

Aly: Here Jac! You can borrow my secret weapon! 'Throws weapon in slow motion'

Jac: 'catches in air and shows it to the oompaloompas'

OL: NOOOOO! GET IT AWAY! Don't let her make you eat it!

Jac: Ha! Feel the awesome power of Aly's sugar free gum! 'Shoves down and OL's throat' we don't have dental insurance, so eat it and like it! IT'S GOOD FOR YOUR TEETH!

Aly: 'jams out to Three Days Grace and files claws'.

Sesshomaru: Aren't you going to stop this?

Aly takes off headphones: Na, let her have her fun. It's been a while.


	4. Crazy MF Chapter!

_Jac: It's Jac! I don't know where Aly is, this is all the time I have, help me please! She locked me in the closet!_

_Aly comes in: Jac, what are you doing in the bathtub with the computer? You know what happened last time….._

_Jac jumps out: Don't you dare plug in the cord again!_

_Aly stops plugging in cord: Oh, uh, sure. Ya, right._

_Jac: That's what I thought ZZZZZZZZ._

_Aly: Like I said, ya right._

_Koga comes in: What did you do to my woman! Wait, she's sedated now, she won't resist!_

_Sesshomaru comes in and locks door: You guys haven't seen Jaken have you?_

_Aly laughs nervously: a heh, heh, no?'quietly asks jac' we did burn the body, right?_

_Jac sizzles._

_Koga: Well, I don't want to waste any more time. She could wake up at any second. (drags Jac into shower and closes curtain)_

_Sesshomaru: That's not a bad idea (grabs Aly by the hair)._

_Aly: Watch the hair, grab the arms._

_Sesshomaru: How dare you tell this Sesshomaru what to do! Now where is this "linen closet" you speak of?_

_Can hear Aly faintly screaming: Hell ya!_

_Together: Oh, and a shout out and thanx to -a-Lost-Cause-317-. She helped unpostpone the story. Be grateful! (invader Zim voice). Oh, and the M you were warned about should come in one of the two next chapters, aight?_

FLASHBACK (lights and music come on "Damn oompaloompas!" revs chainsaw)

"YOU GOT RIN PREGNANT! You're such and idiot!" Kagome screamed.

"Now see, this is why I didn't want to tell anybody," Naraku said.

"Well, it would've been obvious," said Kagome. "I mean, how could we not notice Rin getting fatter and fatter every month?"

"It's not like I asked for this!" Naraku defended himself.

"Oh ya, Rin climbed ontop of herself and got herself pregnant!" Kagome said sarcastically.

"And you wanted me to tell Kagura," Naraku smirked.

"Well not in those words!" Kagome said.

"How am I gonna explain this to Sesshomaru? Oh god, he'll kill me!" Naraku started freaking out.

"Kill, no, castrate or injure, yes."

"Rin doesn't know yet," Naraku said.

"HOW COULD SHE NOT KNOW? SHE'S THE ONE THAT'S KNOCKED UP!" Kagome said.

"I can smell it," Naraku said.

"Don't you mean feel?"

"No, I mean smell. Remember, demon here. Demon."

"Right………."

"Well?" Naraku growled. "I told you so that you could help!"

"Well tell me what the problem is!" Kagome screamed back.

"Hello! It's Sesshomaru's sister!" Naraku said.

"Hey, guys what's going on?" said a voice from the bushes.

END

(hahaha. Ya right. But it can't be a cliffy. Too short)

"Miroku! What the hell are you doing in those bushes…..nevermind, I don't wanna know."kagome shuddered

"What? Old habits die hard." Miroku stepped out with a bunny he was petting.

Kagome and Naraku looked at each other. "You've gone too far with this one Maidens."

"What he was only petting it!"

"Ya, I was just watching because I thought I was going to see some action," Miroku explained.

"Ew Miroku! Go to the video store like normal teenagers! Besides, pregnant girlfriend situation here!"

"YOU'RE PREGNANT?" Mirouku screamed. "AND FROM A GIRL? You soo could have called me for that!"

"I'm not pregnant you idiot! Rin is! I mean uh, Kohaku, I mean Kagura!"

"You got all four pregnant? Dang you're good!" Miroku complimented.

"Where do you get four?" Kagome asked.

"Well, you have been putting on some weight lately Kagome…" said Miroku, not getting to finish his sentence because Kagome's fist connected with his jaw.

"MORON! It's just bloating. I'm menstrual."

"I thought you smelled bad," Naraku commented.

Then, all of a sudden Kikyo pops out of the bushes.

"What are you doing here?"

She eyes Miroku. "You said you wanted some action (starts putting hand down pants and………………………..pulls out sword). Want to ninja fight?"

"Go away Kinky-hoe. I don't eat sloppy seconds."

"OH! Burn!" Naraku said.

"You got told nigga!" Kagome said.

"Whatever cracker!" Kikyo said.

"So, how are you gonna support all those babies mommas?" Miroku asked.

"Imbecile! Only Rin's pregnant!" Naraku said.

Miroku and Kikyo sit down in front of Naraku. "Well? Continue."

"This doesn't concern you kinky-hoe. Neither does it you Miroku. Why don't you both go home?"

"By the way, why were you in the bushes?" Kagome asked.

Blushes. "I couldn't find the bathroom."

All groan.

"Sick!"

"Nasty"

"I've got you now Potter! I mean, Gross!"

They all looked weird at Miroku.

"What? I was on level five of the "Harry Potter Quidditch Game". (holds up game boy with game on screen.) On sale now at all best buys!"

"Okay, enough TV for you!"

"TV good…….. That's where I got my escalator!"

"You what?"

"Never mind. Go to sleep."

"We're in the park Miroku!"

"Fine. Let's go home!" Picks up bunny and drags away Kikyo by the hair. "I'm gonna put a nice flower in you clay pot!"

Both shake heads. (okay now enough of this silly and back to the real conversation.)

"I don't know how I'm going to tell him!" starts crying.

"Dude, are you Naraku? Cause this is freaking me out!" Kagome said. "Just suck it up and tell him! Sure he might kill you, but you're his sister's babies daddy! He'll bring you back with tensaiga!" Kagome said, trying to comfort him.

"Ya, I guess your right. Thanks Kagome," Naraku said.

"Sure, now take me home before any more weird shit happens!" Kagome said and ran to the car.

END FLASHBACK

"You okay there Kagome?" Sesshomaru asked.

"Ya, you've been out of it for a while there. About an hour," Bankotsu said.

"What? Oh ya, I was just flashing back for the readers benefit," Kagome said.

"What are you talking about?" Sesshomaru asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Uh, nothing, nothing. Now, what's this secret you have Bankotsu?" Kagome asked.

"Like I would tell you!" Bankotsu said.

"Come on, what is it? Did you kill you someone? Remember I was cool about it last time," Kagome joked.

"What-Who told you? Oh, uh I mean more pizza!" Bankotsu said.

'No wonder Miroku said I've been putting on weight, eating all this pizza.' Kagome thought.

'Ya, you have been getting a little pudgy,' Sesshomaru thought.

'How dare you read my thoughts!' Kagome thought screamed at him.

_We're sorry, the telepathic link has been lost. Please try again in a few seconds. Beep…………beep………beep…….._

"Well, you did say it out loud," Sesshomaru lied.

"HA! They say that you lied!" Kagome said.

"Who's they?" Sesshomaru asked.

Get real close and whispers, "The authors. They're coming." (as/n we really are. Next chapter! And if you tattle to the boards we swear we'll hunt you down and gut you like a fish!)

Kagome smacks forehead. "Just shut up! Shut up all of you!"

Sesshomaru scoots away. "No more orange juice for you! From now on it's hard up liquor like usual." Grabs a bottle and pours it down her throat.

"Hey, where's Ban?" Kagome asked while gagging.

"He ran to get more pizza to keep you from knowing his secret of liking you," Sesshomaru said calmly, fully aware of what he had told Kagome.

"What!"

"Oh ya, he has a big crush on you. Why do you think Inuyasha doesn't want you hanging around with him?"

"What does Inuyasha have to do with this?" Kagome asked.

"Well, don't tell, him, but I was reading his diary, and he said that he likes you…"

"Wait, back up he has a DIARY? As in a GIRL diary?" Kagome said incredulously.

"Ya, it even says _Kitty-Kitty-Meow-Meow_ on the front and has a fuzzy little heart for the lock!" Sesshomaru said laughing.

"If it was locked, how did you read it?"

"I stole the heart shaped key from his keychain," Sesshomaru explained.

"Hey! He told me that was Kikyo's!" Kagome exclaimed. "Well, I guess I should have known when I asked Kikyo if it was hers and she said no that it was Inuyasha's key to his diary."

Kagome's cell rang again. "Guess who!" said a high girlish voice.

"Souta, how many times have I told you after 8, otherwise the charges will kill me!"

Overage charges: She's onto us! Come on Johnny! We've gotta skip town.

"I know, I know, but Inuyasha's here and.."

"Inuyasha's at my house! Why is he there?" Kagome asked.

"Oh, you know, he just came over to eat your food and use the bathroom and stuff. Not to talk to you or anything," Souta said sarcastically.

"Oh," Kagome said, getting sad.

"I was being sarcastica you moron!"

"Oh. OH! But I'm hanging out with Sesshomaru," Kagome started.

"Oh ya, his girlfriend called here and told me to tell you to tell him that she told him not to wear the red one tonight, whatever that means," Souta said.

"Okay, did you catch that Sesshomaru?" Kagome said.

"What is this catching you speak of?" Sesshomaru asked.

"You're girlfriend told you not to wear the red one tonight," Kagome said.

"Damn, it's already on," Sesshomaru mumbled.

"What is this red one you speak of?" Kagome said.

Sesshomaru starts pulling down pants.

"Kagome? Kagome are you still there? THUMP. Kagome? Are you okay? Sounds like you fell over? Okay, bye then!"

Kagome picks herself off the floor. "I gotta…..driveway…..gangster's hat….thingy."

"That's not even a sentence!" Sesshomaru said. 'Ha, told him it'd knock her out,' he thought.

'Who'd you tell?' Kagome thought back.

'Um Sesshomaru's not here right now. Please leave a messages at the beep. BEEP.'

'Damn, I hate these things! Oh, um, Hi Sesshomaru! It's Kagome! Think me when you get back!'

Kagome bolted out of the house while Sesshomaru pulled up his pants.

Looking down, "Dang and I thought they looked good in red!" he said, observing his red knee socks. "I really gotta stop playing a school girl for her!"

Walking home Kagome was distracted by something shiny on the sidewalk. "Oh, shiny."

"That's right, come to papa," said a voice while he pulled the string attached to the shiny object.

"Come back shiny!" Kagome said, running after it.

"I've got you now!" she screamed.

"And I've got you!" Koga said.

"KOGA! I thought you died or at least had a girlfriend of some sort," Kagome said.

"Ayame's my cousin!"

"Not what I heard. Thought you were engaged. Oh look, there's the ring!" Kagome said.

"It's a mood ring!" Koga said, and pulled out a can of red spray paint from his back pocket and spray painted his ring.

"Ya right!"

"And so what if I do! That's not the point. The point is, I only want you!" Koga said.

"I told you Koga! We can't be together because 1) I don't like you and 2) I'm a dike." Kagome lied.

"What!" Koga exclaimed.

"Dike. You know, lesbo, don't date men," Kagome explained.

"I know when you're lying to me," Koga said.

"Sure you do," Kagome said, thinking that she had thought it. "Oh, did I say that out loud? Let's try it again."

"Ya. (coughs) I know when you're lying to me," Koga said, again.

'Sure you do,' Kagome thought. "Okay, but I really don't have the time for this right now! I have to get home!"

"Why?" Koga asked, suspiciously, seriously, he was raising his eyebrows and staring her down and everything.

"Because my brother told me and there's a mess at my house! I need to get rid of it before my mom comes home!" Kagome said, trying to put the situation the best she knew how without lying. Inuyasha was a mess, he left ramen wrappers on the floor, clawed up the couch, and he never went to the bathroom in the backyard like a good house trained dog. And if her mother found out that Kagome hadn't given him away like she was supposed to she was in serious trouble!

"Okay then, I'll help you get home! Hop on!" Koga said, kneeling down for her to get on his back.

'Oh, his fur feels so nice,' she thought. 'Wait! What am I thinking? This is Koga, not Inuyasha!'

Landing in her yard, (yes Koga ran/flew her home) she yelled a quick thanks and ran to her house.

'Oh my gosh! What's Inuyasha doing here?' Kagome thought. She started brushing her hair and putting on lip gloss.

"Why are you brushing your hair and putting on lipgloss?" Souta asked.

"What? I always brush my hair and put on lipgloss before I go to bed. You knew that! Goodnight!" Kagome said and turned off the light to her room and went to bed.

_Haha. We thinks it's a good cliffy. If you want more review! And here's your freaking long chapter. Nine whole pages of the best story ever written! You should be grateful because that's the longest chapter that you are ever going to get from this story! The next one will be about what happened with Inuyasha at the house. And we know that Bankotsu is being a pussy right now but he will be all cool and himself in the next one or the next next one. Aight. REVIEW AND REPLY! Pleaz and thanx. Oh and sorry about the review replies. Watching casino makes me go mobster for the day so if your reply was mean I'm sooooooo sorry for you thinking like that._


	5. REVIEW TO THIS CHAPTER!

CHAPTER 2, THE GREAT HALL INCIDENT

Draco walked into the Great Hall holding his large speckled cock. I mean, this thing had white speckles, brown speckles, I mean, that thing even had black. And the top was red. Ever heard of STD?

Proffessor Mogonagle stood up and said, "Draco! You know chickens aren't allowed in the great hall!"

"But Proffessor, the owls are mean to him! And besides, Stephano Tiberius Duddly is a prize winning fighting cock!"

At this the chicken started clucking.

"Well, either put him away or give him some Mountain Dew!"

"I would never poison Stephanoooooooooooooooooooo...eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Is this the right story?"

Maidens: Sesshomaru! I thought we told you not to use the computer!

Jack rolls up newspaper: Bad dog! Bad bad dog!

Sesshomaru rubs head and says: I'm sorry, I had to blog!

Maidens: This isn't blogging!

Sesshomaru: Yes sir, it says right here. B-L-O-G-G-I-N-G.

Maidens: I don't know where you went to school, but that says taffy! That's not even a computer! It's candy!

Aly: And what kind of blog are you thinking?

Sesshomaru: Well then how'd I get it up here smarty pants?

Soft music comes on in the background. (Darth Vader theme)

Jack: No!!!! Why would you betray me like that Darth Vader?!?

Chewbaca comes in.

Jack: I knew you were no good for him!

Chewbaca: RRRRRrrrrrrrrrrr!

Jack: Don't even try to apologize!

Chewbaca: RRRRrrrrr!

Jack: Yes, this means I'm not making you chicken tonight.

Aly: Just leave. Just leave.

Koolaid man: Oh ya!

Maidens: Where did you come from?

Koolaid man: Oh yaaaa...

Sesshomaru drinks koolaid.

Jack: Bad Sesshomaru!! You don't know where that koolaid's been. Look, there's plaster in here!

Aly: Probably from breaking so many walls.

Jack: You know what get up!

Koolaid: Oh ya?

Jack: Oh no! You get up and fix this wall before my dad gets home! He's not gonna belive a giant koolaid man came and broke it!

Koolaid: Oh ya?

Jack: Oh no! Breaking through walls is cool? Coming through the front door is cool too asshole! Get up before I throw this baseball through you! And you better not say oh ya, got it?

Koolaid: Oh...Stir em up singles!

Jack: Did you just call me fat?

Koolaid: Oh ya!

Jack: You bitch!

Tackles him and rolls outside

Aly: Jack! You're on parole!

Jack screams: This glass pitcher called me fat! I told you after the toaster no one else could make fun of me!

Aly looks at you through computer: It said ding.

Jack: Don't make excuses for it!

Aly: We don't even get toast anymore..It's too scared.

Dad walks in: What the hell is going on here? And why is there a koolaid man shaped hole in the wall? What's all this red stuff all over the carpet?

Aly: I, uh, uh, I had an accident?

Jack comes in: Dad?! Don't go outside!

Dad: Why?

Jack: There's glass everywhere.

Dad: From what?

Jack: The trampoline?

Okay now, on with the story!!

Kagome...

Review!! haha, yes we're seriously evil. We decided that you didn't review enough, and we have the chapter ready so review! Or you'll never learn about Bo-Peep, why she was peeping, and what really happened to her sheep. Ya, it's really in the story and it's code from lemon, citrus, lime, or how about sexual content, cause this chapter has nothing to do with fruit or vegtable, cause we don't know what the heck lemons or limes are, or tomatoes, but we're pretty sure they're fruits. REVIEW! we're crazy enough to take it off.


	6. NEW Chapter

Dear Readers,

Uhm, gee, how to start this. Well, how about, UPDATE!!! In case you haven't noticed, we have not updated our wonderfully-amazing-crazy-not worth reading-story in a very very very very long time. But we do have a completely good reason for this. We forgot the password to our account and email account we need to activate all new chapters and stories. Hahaha, don't you love it? No? We didn't think you would. Anyways, there is good news to this story. Not only have we had the next four chapters to this written down and ready for updating, but we have a NEW ACCOUNT! Mmmm, smell that new fresh account smell. Anyhow, we will be updating the story on this account under the new account, in which we will simply be Maidens of the flame2 or Maidens of the Flame Two. But, we will be updating. If you do like our story, then hopefully you will look under BankotsuXKagome, M, Again and find our story, so wonderfully titled the same thing with new updates. Please subscribe to updates of this new account and story if you do want to read more. If not, then thank you for your time reading this.

Aly: Wow, Jac, you were Damn proffessional in that!

Jac: I know! Pills really do help! I mean...Dreams really do come true!

Aly: Right...Right. (watches clowns on stilts on wheels) Greatest thing ever!!! hahaha!

LOOK FOR OUR NEW ACCOUNT AND STORY. DON"T REVIEW, WE WON"T GET THEM ANYWAYS!! JUST FIND THE NEW ACCOUNT AND STORY AND REVIEW THERE!!!

WE LOVE ALL OF YOU FAITHFUL READERS AND NEWCOMERS AT BAD TIMING!!!


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